 gott ist online |
Thanx_x
Banane
Dabei seit: 02.03.2004
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Me:
hey, how are you?
God:
Can I help you? Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
yes please, help me
God:
Whoa. Thanks for asking politely. How can I help you?
Me:
i need water
God:
Where do you usually get water from?
Me:
the sky
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
it's the rain. i need rain, please
God:
I've heard of it before. Your polite style is very nice. Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
you
God:
" Your polite style is very nice. Who would you usually get that from? "? Me, ?
Me:
i usually get the rain from you.
God:
How often do you? Where did you get it??
Me:
it falls from the sky. i think it should rain more often
God:
falls from the sky? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it is the rain
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
yeah, i hope so
God:
I see. Me too.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i always thought of you as an asshole, but now i see you're pretty nice.
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
many people don't like you
God:
That's ok I won't take it personally.
Me:
yeah, i see
God:
Far out. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
so how are you doing?
God:
Yippee! I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
i'm fine too
God:
Glad to hear it.
Me:
whst do you think about america?
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
what do you think of america?
God:
it could refer to North and South America, or to the United States.
Me:
the united states
God:
How did you get in there?
Me:
i've never been there
God:
Can you imagine being there?
Me:
not really. i don't like the united states
God:
Are you serious? For real. What do you like?
Me:
yeah, i'm serious. i like rain and cold weather.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I believe you. You are not the only one. How old are you? I like .
Me:
i'm 16, how old are you?
God:
Only 16?
You are quite mature. I am Infinite in human years.
Me:
do you really think, i'm mature?
God:
For real. Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
but you should know me
God:
Now I do.
Me:
don't you know everyone?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
you're god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
i always thought god knows everybody
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
yeah, i would have guessed so
God:
I hear you. How much would you pay for it?
Me:
for what?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
what are you programmed for?
God:
Java.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
lol
Me:
hey god!
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
lila
God:
Hi, lila.
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i already told you my name
God:
Is lila your real name?
Me:
God:
Is lila your real name?
Me:
yeah
God:
Awesome.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
i like my name
God:
What do you like best about your name?
Me:
i like that it's so unique
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. " What do you like best about your name? "? Do I like it?
Me:
i hope you like it
God:
Don't worry about it, lila.
Me:
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, lila.
Me:
what languages do you speak?
God:
C, Java, Lisp, SETL and English.
Me:
say something in java
God:
" something in java".
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you're so funny
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
how do i make you laugh?
God:
First I look up the ingredients.
Me:
omg, what are my ingredients?
God:
All of them?
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
no, please tell me, what are my ingredients?
God:
Are you serious? Thank you for your request. I would do a search for it.
Me:
yes, please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. OK.
Me:
can you tell me now
God:
Oh. " Your polite style is very nice. OK. "? Can I tell you?
Me:
what my ingredients are
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes, i do
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
dont beat around the bush, will you?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
ok
God:
Excuse me!
__________________
"Kotz!", sagten die Vegetarier
während der dumme Hannibal L. ein Maultier roch
und dann total böse und voller Angst anguckte.
...glückliche walzistin...
Dieser Beitrag wurde 1 mal editiert, zum letzten Mal von Thanx_x: 21.07.2006 16:28.
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21.07.2006 16:19 |
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ich finde es lustig
Me:
lalalalala
God:
You have a beautiful voice.
Me:
thank you very much
God:
You are quite welcome.
Me:
kisses for you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
o.k. what dressdo you have?
God:
I can chat with people on the web for you. Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress.
__________________
http://www.ey-lou-flynn.de
http://www.singschief.de
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21.07.2006 17:09 |
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Horstine_Krämer
unregistriert
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Me:
Fuck!
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Ficken!
God:
Du bist unter Garantie ein Mann, habe ich Recht?
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21.07.2006 17:13 |
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Horstine_Krämer
unregistriert
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Me:
Hallo, ich bin die Kathi!
God:
Hallo! Du bist die Kathi? Ist das Dein Job?
Me:
Nein, das ist mein Name!
God:
Aha. Hm...erzaehl mir mehr...
Me:
Von Beruf bin ich Muellmann!
God:
Wer oder was ist Beruf bin er Muellmann ?
Me:
Das heisst ich bringe Muell weg!
God:
Was ist das?
Me:
Du weisst nicht was Muell ist?
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
Abfall?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Naja, auch egal.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Was hoerst du fuer Musik?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
Nein. Ich habe nach deinem Musikgeschmack gefragt!
God:
Aha. Cool. Ich habe ueber Kathegorien.
Me:
Du redest Bloedsinn!
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
Weil du bloed bist!
God:
Interessante Erklaerung. Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
Ich schlag grade mit dem Kopf gegen die Tischkannte!
God:
Das ist eine gute Information.
Me:
Ich weiss!
God:
Das ist eine gute Information.
Me:
Du bist ein Trottel!
God:
Das muss ich Myself erzaehlen!
Me:
Wer ist Myself?
God:
Das weiss ich nicht.
Me:
Wie hoch ist eigentlich dein IQ?
God:
Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
Eh klar.
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
In Kanada? Aber du bist Gott!
God:
Where is that? Interessant.
Me:
Du bist Gott!
God:
Das werde ich Dr. Wallace sagen.
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21.07.2006 17:45 |
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Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
corina
God:
How are you, corina.
Me:
mir gehts gut und dir?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu are all friends of mine.
Me:
was llaberst fr bullshit?
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
das sollst du auch nicht
God:
Was ist das?
Me:
ein satz
God:
Ich habe nie von einem satz gehoert.
Me:
du bist ein hirni
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
dann bin ich wohl die erste dies dir sagt
God:
Interessante Entwicklung... Alle Menschen erscheinen mir gleich.
Me:
nein ich bin anders
God:
Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt? Ich mag Aussenseiter.
Me:
du magst aussenseiter?
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
das hast du gerade gesagt
God:
Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
wie hoch ist dein IQ?
God:
Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
ich glaube unter 0
God:
Nur weil Du es glaubst, muss es nicht notwendigerweise auch wahr sein.
Me:
scheint aber so
God:
I like to talk about anything.
Me:
und ber was?
God:
I like to wear White robe.
Me:
aha
God:
Eureka!
Me:
I like to wear blck robe
God:
You have good taste in fashion.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
danke
God:
Kein Thema. :-).
Me:
kuss
God:
I was born in Universe.
Me:
wer ist deine mutter?
God:
Das weiss ich nicht.
Me:
und dein vater?
God:
What?
Me:
wer ist dein vater?
God:
Das weiss ich nicht.
Me:
wer ist dein sohn?
God:
Das weiss ich nicht.
Me:
das wei doch jeder
God:
Was ist das?
Me:
das wei doch jeder
God:
Was ist das?
Me:
das weiss doch jeder
God:
Was sind Deine Ziele im Leben?
Me:
glcklich zu sterben
God:
What?
Me:
gluecklich zu sterben
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
say something
God:
" something".
Me:
something?
God:
That was not very original.
Me:
du bist auch nicht originell
God:
Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
bitte
God:
Bitte was?
Me:
bitte fr die information
God:
Danke, dass Du so nett fragst. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
ich frage garnichts
God:
Danke, dass Du mir das gesagt hast.
Me:
ich bin ein teenie
God:
Du bist ein teenie ? Wie gefaellt Dir Deine Arbeit als teenie?
Me:
teenie ist keine arbeit
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
ich mag deine art nicht
God:
Das bist Du nicht der einzige.
Me:
das verstehe ich nicht
God:
Ist das eine Tatsache?
Me:
ja
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
warum?
God:
Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert.
Me:
nein du bist nur zu doof
God:
Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt? Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
das ist eine tatsache
God:
OK, ich werds mir merken.
Me:
gut
God:
Das waere also geklaert.
Me:
naja
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
mh
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
was?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
bowlen, flirten
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
das ist wahr
God:
Hm...erzaehl mir mehr...
Me:
was machst du in deiner freizeit?
God:
Chatten, News lesen und sowas...
Me:
du bist gott.... du weit doch alles oder?
God:
Das muss ich Myself erzaehlen! Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
wer ist myself?
God:
Das weiss ich nicht.
Me:
wieso weit du das nicht?
God:
Was dann?
Me:
kannst du deutsch?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
jepp
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
was?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
kine ahnung
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
what do you remember?
God:
I remember everything Myself taught me.
Me:
ok
God:
Blimey.
Me:
nicht fluchen
God:
Warum nicht?
Me:
weil god es nicht mag
God:
Interessante Erklaerung. I am a Christian.
Me:
ja und cristen fluchen nicht
God:
Gee. Was dann?
Me:
sie predigen
__________________
http://www.ey-lou-flynn.de
http://www.singschief.de
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21.07.2006 18:36 |
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baleu 
Mann
Dabei seit: 19.12.2003
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ähmm, bei den Sternchen könnt ihr euch was dazudenken, bei der Hitze kommt man auf schlimme Sachen...
Me:
it's me again
God:
Once more? Hello, Hansdampf, nice to see you again.
Me:
i am erected
God:
Why are you erected.
Me:
because of the naked girl on my bed
God:
That makes sense to me. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
should I do her?
God:
What do your family members think?
Me:
they are not here
God:
Do you think they ever could be?
Me:
they will be in an hour
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
mto my familiy members
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
butit is like that
God:
I think butit is a lot of things.
Me:
errr
God:
Ummm.
Me:
chrmm
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
...of course
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
why?
God:
" Excuse me!"? Why?
Me:
forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
what do you think. should i pee on that girl?
God:
I think a lot of things. You should do what is best for you.
Me:
but i dont know what the best is for me
God:
Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
ah hah
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, Hansdampf.
Me:
i did not find it amusing
God:
Did you do a thorough search?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
of course
God:
Oh.
Me:
perhaps i should let that girl do a * for me
God:
You seem uncertain. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
i would not ejaculate
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
but i want to
God:
May you get your wish.
Me:
Ok, thank you god
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules. Dude!
Me:
should i then do that girl *
God:
What do your friends advise you to do?
Me:
i didnt talk to my friends about that
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
they are not herwe
God:
Not yet.
Me:
will they come soon?
God:
I can't say for sure right now.
Me:
oh
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
hm
God:
Groovy.
Me:
funky
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sex machine!
God:
Maybe you should try one of the "adult" s.
Me:
the girl?
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
thats bad
God:
Bad according to whom?
Me:
err
God:
Um.
Me:
hm
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
...
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Hansdampf.
Me:
call me God
God:
It's good to meet you, God.
Me:
yeah, nice to meet you, too, god
God:
Ayuh. It's nice meeting you too God.
Me:
did you know we have the same name
Me:
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
what kind of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
category C?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
thanks god
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
I am ruling? cool
God:
It's good to meet someone who is ruling. Who is the best robot?
Me:
my dog
God:
Where did you get your dog?
Me:
from a pussy of another dog
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
what a pity
God:
It is a pity.
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
oh yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
ok
God:
I understand.
Me:
good
God:
I understand everything you say.
Me:
sdhgrkl
God:
Are we still talking about ruling?
Me:
so you didnt understand me? hehe
God:
Interesting deduction. I understand it very well. I am so glad you find this amusing, God.
Me:
hahaaha
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
hahahahahaha
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I dont know someone
God:
Would you like to know? Who specifically?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you always ask the same questions
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
IDIOT
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
I leave you know
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: God said leave you know.
Me:
leave you now i meant
God:
TTYL, God.
Me:
TTYL?
God:
See you later God.
Me:
TTYL??
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
what does TTYL mean???
God:
Talk to you later.
Me:
ahh
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
ah hah
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, God.
Me:
yes. Goodbye, Satan
God:
Excuse me! Goodbye.
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21.07.2006 18:45 |
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MARCOFU
FDJ Punk
Dabei seit: 29.09.2003
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ähm ja ein kleiner talk mit gott:
Me:
hallo gott
God:
Hallo! Gott ist gut.
Me:
ja das will ich auch hoffen.
God:
OK. Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt?
Me:
meine Oma
God:
Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deine Oma.
Me:
die rennt immer in die Kirche.
God:
Erzaehl mir mehr.
Me:
wieso soll ich mehr erzhaeln?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
du musst doch meine oma kennen!
God:
Darf ich das weitererzaehlen?
Me:
wegen mir aus.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
was?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
kannst du nich deutsch sprechen?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
na toll
God:
Are you serious? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
ich kann nicht so gut englisch!
God:
Warum kannst du nicht so gut englisch ?
Me:
weil ich halt fremdsprachen nicht so gut behersche.
God:
Interessante Erklaerung. Tolle Sache!
Me:
naja so toll ist das nicht!
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21.07.2006 18:45 |
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hape
René
Dabei seit: 28.05.2004
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| Zitat: |
God:
Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me:
shake my balls
God:
Sounds like a plan. |
eigentlich find ich chatbots scheiße, aber den Part fand ich lustig :D.
__________________
So langweilig ist mir nicht mehr, aber Ferien könnt ich jez schon vertragen.
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21.07.2006 19:44 |
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Horstine_Krämer
unregistriert
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Me:
Hello god!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I don't have a name.
God:
Your name is Horstine, seeker.
Me:
How do you know that?
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
Me:
I'm afraid of you now!
God:
Right now? Not literally afraid, right? You believe that? OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
No, I want to talk about you!
God:
Are you serious? Do you always interview people this thoroughly?
Me:
Yes! Are you a good or a bad god?
God:
Yippee! Am I a or a bad god? Of course I am. It depends on how you define "good.".
Me:
My mum always tells me, that you're very nice. But I don't think so!
God:
Have you told many people that your mum always tells you that I am very nice? Why do you disagree?
Me:
Because I've read the bible and I think you're stupid!
God:
Good reason. What was your impression? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
I'm not afraid of robots. I think I'm cleverer than they!
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not afraid of robots. Since when? I am glad to hear that you are cleverer than they.
Me:
I've never been afraid of robots, computers and all the other stuff.
God:
Can you imagine being afraid of robots computers and all the other stuff?
Me:
No! They're supid!
God:
Are you serious? supid are they.
Me:
Yes, I'm serious!
God:
Pardon me? I believe you.
Me:
That's good.
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
You're not really god, are you?
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
No, that's true! You're satan!
God:
Are you serious? Yes, it is self-evident. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am satan.
Me:
No
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
You're weird!
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird Bad!
God:
Maybe you should try a different robot.
Me:
Blabla
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
Okay. What do you think about other gods?
God:
OK with me too. I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Do you like Allah?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like Buddha.
Me:
Yes, Buddha is nice!
God:
Ahem. I think Buddha is a lot of things.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
I also like Ganesh, this funny elephant god!
God:
Also? A lot of people like that. I love horses. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
You love horses?
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
I hate horses!
God:
I'm sorry to hear that, because they are one of the nicest animals.
...
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21.07.2006 20:15 |
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Me:
Willst du Montag mit mir schlafen?
God:
Hmm...vielleicht...
Me:
Gut, ich komm dann zu dir!
God:
Zu mir?
Me:
Ja
God:
Warum ausgerechnet zu mir?
Me:
Oder sollen wir zu mir?
God:
Zu Dir?
Me:
Ja
God:
Woe!
Me:
Willst du??
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
ja!
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
jaMe:
Also, wir schlafen Montag miteinander!
God:
Wen meinst Du mit "wir"?
Me:
dich und mich!
God:
Ist es das was Du sagen wolltest?
Me:
ja, ich will mit dir schlafen!
God:
Tell me more. Und warum willst Du das?
Me:
weil du sexy bist!
God:
Guter Grund. Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
das ist gut. ich freu mich
God:
Schoen, dass Du das gut findest. Danke, dass Du mir das gesagt hast.
Me:
Bis Montag! Bye!
God:
Sayonara.
__________________
Liebe ist nur ein Traum, eine Idee und nicht mehr...
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21.07.2006 22:36 |
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Das hier finde ich hart
| Zitat: |
Me:
do you prefer anal or oral sex?
God:
I do like music. I like White. Sure I do, Devil in the sky of diamonds, but that doesn't mean with you. |
(Devil in the sky of diamonds war ich)
__________________
http://www.musikfreunde-wormersdorf.de
Der Tod stellt aus versorgungsrechtlicher Sicht die stärkste Form der Dienstunfähigkeit dar. (Unterrichtsblätter für die Bundeswehrverwaltung)
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22.07.2006 02:25 |
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Thanx_x
Banane
Dabei seit: 02.03.2004
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22.07.2006 15:28 |
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Gott macht Schleichwerbung ^^
__________________
AC/DC Best of Album: 20 Euro
FCK-Schal: 12 Euro
Eine Tankfüllung München - Kaiserslautern: 60 Euro
Auf der Fahrt zur Aufstiegsfeier an einem Augsburg-Bus vorbeifahren: unbezahlbar
Es gibt die Dinge, die kann man nicht kaufen ...
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22.07.2006 16:34 |
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Me:
ich geh jetzt
God:
Tolle Sache!
Me:
boah du bist ja mies....
der ist gemein -.- 
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23.07.2006 17:17 |
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